Congratulations to Lisa Bonet and Jason Momoa, who recently welcomed a baby boy named…

Wait for it… wait for it…

… Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa.

But friends and family will simply call him by his nickname, Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeh.

When I think of angels sent from heaven, Ann Coulter always immediately springs to mind. The way the light bounces off her bleach-dried hair. The way her Adams Apple dances when she speaks. The way her uptight ass clenches in delight when any attention is cast her way. There is no doubt Ann is blessed from above.

So you can imagine my delight when Ann donned her halo to appear on this mornings The Today Show, where she rationally and not-at-all defensively discussed her new book, Guilty: Liberal Victims and Their Assault on America.

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When I think of angels sent from heaven, Ann Coulter always immediately springs to mind. The way the light bounces off her bleach-dried hair. The way her Adam’s Apple dances when she speaks. The way her uptight ass clenches in delight when any attention is cast her way. There is no doubt Ann is blessed from above.

So you can imagine my delight when Ann donned her halo to appear on this morning’s “The Today Show,” where she rationally and not-at-all defensively discussed her new book, Guilty: Liberal Victims and Their Assault on America. She repeatedly called the president-elect “B. Hussein Obama,” which truly and intelligently illuminated the weaknesses in Obama’s policies, in my opinion. She also offered a scathing opinion of our next First Lady, writing this about Michelle Obama in her book:

Her obvious imitation of Jackie Os style - the flipped-under hair, the sleeveless A-line dresses, the short strands of fake pearls — would have been laughable if done by anyone other than a media-designated saint.

Oh, snap! Try living with yourself after being obliterated by THAT zinger, Michelle. Sure, you may have beautiful daughters and go to bed with the president of the United States at night, but lucky Ann gets the WHOLE bed to herself ! No need to worry about other warm bodies wanting to be near her. And unlike you and your stupid fake pearls, the stick up Ann’s ass is made of REAL wood! Ha.

I think I speak for everybody when I note, Ann: 2; Michelle: 0.

Heidi Montag has her nails painted with the Chanel Logo

Billbored (bl’brd)

Function: Noun

1. An individual who is so boring, s/he must resort to becoming a human billboard for attention.

Sentence usage: That billbored from ‘The Hills’ just got ‘Sponsored by Restylane’ tattooed on her lips.”

Nikki Cox’s Lips have passed on to the Big Injection Needle in the sky, as evidenced by their posthumous appearance at last night’s People’s Choice Awards. Cause of death: fatal Restylane overdose.

Nikki Cox’s Lips are survived by memories of their once normal and attractive size, as well as touching performances in “Baywatch,” “Blossom” and “Sister, Sister.”